THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS
Stage #1 -- Smart
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course the person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for hours trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are "smart".
Two people talking, in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really knows anything about, but are convinced that they are they complete authority on the subject makes for great entertainment for those get the opportunity to listen in.
Stage #2 -- Handsome/Pretty
This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in the entire room and everyone is looking at you. You begin to wink at perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course they had been admiring you the whole evening. You are the center of attention, and all eyes are directed at you because youare the most beautiful thing on the face of the earth. Now keep in mind that you are still smart, so you can talk to this person who has been admiring you about any and all subjects under the sun.
Stage #3 -- Rich
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar and put it on your bill because you surely have an armored truck full of your money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets in this stage. Now of course you still know all, so you will always win all your bets. And you have no concern for how much money you bet because you have all the money in the world. You will also begin to buy drinks for all the people in the bar who are admiring you because you are now the smartest, prettiest, and richest person on the face of the earth.
Stage #4 -- Bulletproof
You can now pick fights with the people you have been betting money with because you cannot be hurt by anything. At this point you would go up to the boyfriend of the woman who had been admiring your beautiful self all evening and challenge him to a battle of wits for money. You have no worry about losing this battle of wits because you know all, have all the money to cover this bet, and you obviously win a fight that might erupt if he looses.
Stage #5 -- Invisible
This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and dance on a table; you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person whom you have picked a fight with earlier in the evening. You can walk through the streets singing at the top of your lungs (because of course you are still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything of it because they can't see you. All your social inhibitions are gone. You can do anything, because no one will know.
And you certainly won't remember !
Source: Internet
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Vanity and Pride
Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously.
A person may be proud without being vain.
Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves;
Vanity, to what we would have others think of us.
-Jane Austen
A Human Being, is he a really a social animal or just another animal across the street. I think there is no difference left between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage that led to the incidents that shocked Bangalore and Ahmedabad.
Two disgraceful rather i would term it as traumatizing incidents took place, first target being IT Hub - Bangloare which underwent 7 serial blast on 25th July 2008 (yet another "Black Friday") and immediately the next day there were 17 serial blast in Ahmedabad which didn't spare the little bird "Pigeon" which is termed as symbol of peace forget about the human.
Should this act be termed as Vanity or Pride of the terrorist involved behind this. A human in pain is pride for another? I believe there would lots of such questions running in the veins of us. Who should be held responsible for answering them.... yet another human?
God please let us know what is vanity,pride....
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.
- Reinhold Niebur
For past few days i have been running through stress, imbalance.... (you name it, it was there within me). I tried all means to give no heeds to them. I believed i had the wisdom to know the difference. Infact courage too, but i was all trying to avoid the events happening that involved me. This actually showed me that I lacked these three powers that god has granted to every human being.
Now that i introspect & retrospect, I see that I could have solved almost every problem that ever troubled me had I had the above three ingredients in the right proportions. A disproportionate value of one of them screws the entire recipe up.
Hmm, let me start this one by one at a time....
God please grant me the.......
- Reinhold Niebur
For past few days i have been running through stress, imbalance.... (you name it, it was there within me). I tried all means to give no heeds to them. I believed i had the wisdom to know the difference. Infact courage too, but i was all trying to avoid the events happening that involved me. This actually showed me that I lacked these three powers that god has granted to every human being.
Now that i introspect & retrospect, I see that I could have solved almost every problem that ever troubled me had I had the above three ingredients in the right proportions. A disproportionate value of one of them screws the entire recipe up.
Hmm, let me start this one by one at a time....
God please grant me the.......
Thursday, July 17, 2008
the pride of his.......
It was yet another normal day at office, had a good lunch, thought of having a small stroll around my office building. After hopping into the lift, few guys joined me from the 5th floor while i was going down to ground floor. With a huge laugh these guys entered the lift.... one of them whispered to a guy who was standing next to me... "don't tell me you don't wear it".... what are they talking about... after few seconds i could guess what was the topic........ (ah... not that what you are thinking).
Everybody was shouting ofcourse we do wear....with giggles..... i am wearing since my childhood... ( a voice with low tone). All of a sudden a guy from this group took out something from his pocket. It was folded in such a way that its elastic side was clearly visible while he was holding it in his hand and that caught my sight as fast as it could be....... (something similar to you see a gal walking down the street with minis.... and..... having..... ah hah)
I wondered how is he managing by having such a gear that too in his pocket which isn't its right place to be..... and all of a sudden this guy wide opens this gear and i was oh fuck..... what the hell.... (i was thinking it could be......) it was none other than a stupid head gear which was called as helmet "underwear" by one of them...... the pride of his helmet.... (rather his head it be).....
Everybody was shouting ofcourse we do wear....with giggles..... i am wearing since my childhood... ( a voice with low tone). All of a sudden a guy from this group took out something from his pocket. It was folded in such a way that its elastic side was clearly visible while he was holding it in his hand and that caught my sight as fast as it could be....... (something similar to you see a gal walking down the street with minis.... and..... having..... ah hah)
I wondered how is he managing by having such a gear that too in his pocket which isn't its right place to be..... and all of a sudden this guy wide opens this gear and i was oh fuck..... what the hell.... (i was thinking it could be......) it was none other than a stupid head gear which was called as helmet "underwear" by one of them...... the pride of his helmet.... (rather his head it be).....
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
hey bhagwan.... Not Again
On my way back to Bangalore from London, the only thing troubling me was i need to search a house to say and above all i was completely new in the city of gardens.
Finally I landed in bangalore international airport (HAL Airport) and stepped out of airport after successfully passing the immigration check. To my surprise i met my old friend waiting exclusively for me (to whom i had informed that i am coming back)... what a surprise.... definitely brought a big smile on my tired face. He drove me throw streets of bangalore definitely not on his bike but in an auto-risksaw.
We reached safely to his home after a rash driving by the auto driver even more pathetic driving than the pilot who landed the aircraft in an unsafe way. Both of us chatted the whole evening, had good dinner at one of the known restaurants of bangalore (south indian meals... highly spicy although). As usual while having dinner i looked around the restaurants to....... (read my blog "the dreamz").
Next day morning i resumed back my office, met old UK colleagues.... had good time with him over coffee/tea etc.... Around 4pm it struck to my mind, need to find a house for myself now. After long inquiry's from friends/colleagues got the reference of few real estate agents whose offices were near to my office as i wanted to stay around my office.
Over the weekend I visited one of the agent's office, he asked few questions like what is your budget (rent kitna chalega types), which locality etc.... I some how managed to answer all his questions. Some time later he took me to show few houses which fell within my said budget and after a long hours of hunt, seeing horrible houses in all aspects (architecture, flooring, room sizes etc)... finally i found a house which i liked in first sight.... love at first sight types..... told the agent.... i will go for this house.
We drove back to the agent's office, filled a form ( i was impressed), gave a token money (if i remember correctly i gave Rs 2000/-) and when i asked for the receipt.... he gave me a blank look.... but still gave me some crap receipt. He told me come tomorrow and collect your rent agreement and give the remaining money... I ask him how much.... he finally opened his mouth.... 10mnths advance rent as security deposit and 1 month rent as our commission. I was like zapped...... oh bloody hell.... What the F****....... (all my bank accounts got seized although i had only one savings account).....
Next day morning (a refreshing sunday morning) i went to the agent's office... to my surprise i found the shutter down..... called his mobile number.... go to hear this.. "the number you are trying to call is currently out of order".... i got scared.... went home.... came back after having lunch.... eyes dozing off.... sweat running behind my ears down to neck, still the shutter was down. I got shock of my life when i inquired from the neighboring shops.... "You have lost your money"..... WHAT was the word that came off in high tone.
After coming back to home called one of my friend ( who had come to airport if you remember....) narrated the story.... he was laughing till he reached glory..... I was looking at him like a serial killer whose knife was hungry for blood. He took me yet another agent.... At the door step of agent's office I shouted... not again dude..... he said trust me.
Finally I got a house to stay.... the agent introduced me to the house owner... he asked him whats your profession.... ah to my surprise saying "Software Professional" in bangalore is like " aa bal mujhe maar". The owner blast open his month for the rent & deposit. Some how my friend and the agent convinced the owner to settle at reasonable & affordable rent.
Owner asked for the token money, Rs 501/- hmm... thats interesting.... He said come next week and collect the house key..... I was like...................... hey bhagwan not again..... :)
Finally I landed in bangalore international airport (HAL Airport) and stepped out of airport after successfully passing the immigration check. To my surprise i met my old friend waiting exclusively for me (to whom i had informed that i am coming back)... what a surprise.... definitely brought a big smile on my tired face. He drove me throw streets of bangalore definitely not on his bike but in an auto-risksaw.
We reached safely to his home after a rash driving by the auto driver even more pathetic driving than the pilot who landed the aircraft in an unsafe way. Both of us chatted the whole evening, had good dinner at one of the known restaurants of bangalore (south indian meals... highly spicy although). As usual while having dinner i looked around the restaurants to....... (read my blog "the dreamz").
Next day morning i resumed back my office, met old UK colleagues.... had good time with him over coffee/tea etc.... Around 4pm it struck to my mind, need to find a house for myself now. After long inquiry's from friends/colleagues got the reference of few real estate agents whose offices were near to my office as i wanted to stay around my office.
Over the weekend I visited one of the agent's office, he asked few questions like what is your budget (rent kitna chalega types), which locality etc.... I some how managed to answer all his questions. Some time later he took me to show few houses which fell within my said budget and after a long hours of hunt, seeing horrible houses in all aspects (architecture, flooring, room sizes etc)... finally i found a house which i liked in first sight.... love at first sight types..... told the agent.... i will go for this house.
We drove back to the agent's office, filled a form ( i was impressed), gave a token money (if i remember correctly i gave Rs 2000/-) and when i asked for the receipt.... he gave me a blank look.... but still gave me some crap receipt. He told me come tomorrow and collect your rent agreement and give the remaining money... I ask him how much.... he finally opened his mouth.... 10mnths advance rent as security deposit and 1 month rent as our commission. I was like zapped...... oh bloody hell.... What the F****....... (all my bank accounts got seized although i had only one savings account).....
Next day morning (a refreshing sunday morning) i went to the agent's office... to my surprise i found the shutter down..... called his mobile number.... go to hear this.. "the number you are trying to call is currently out of order".... i got scared.... went home.... came back after having lunch.... eyes dozing off.... sweat running behind my ears down to neck, still the shutter was down. I got shock of my life when i inquired from the neighboring shops.... "You have lost your money"..... WHAT was the word that came off in high tone.
After coming back to home called one of my friend ( who had come to airport if you remember....) narrated the story.... he was laughing till he reached glory..... I was looking at him like a serial killer whose knife was hungry for blood. He took me yet another agent.... At the door step of agent's office I shouted... not again dude..... he said trust me.
Finally I got a house to stay.... the agent introduced me to the house owner... he asked him whats your profession.... ah to my surprise saying "Software Professional" in bangalore is like " aa bal mujhe maar". The owner blast open his month for the rent & deposit. Some how my friend and the agent convinced the owner to settle at reasonable & affordable rent.
Owner asked for the token money, Rs 501/- hmm... thats interesting.... He said come next week and collect the house key..... I was like...................... hey bhagwan not again..... :)
definitely isn't the nth number
I use to wonder how people on earth have so of time in writing long stories, incidents or for that matter their dreamz and share it with the world outside.... Yes I am talking/thinking about "the blogs".
Initially during my college days, I use to see friends, lecturers etc ready novels all those fiction, romance, drama etc... turning pages n pages.... like a competition who will finish the book first (hurry hurry.... I did....ah). this reminds me of one of my friend who was crazy for such books, moment she saw any book store or hawker sitting on the footpath with piles of books in front of him.... she will definitely stop by and spend some bugs on buying books... once i told her... how are you able to read through 100s of pages and that too with so quickly (i must say she has amazing speed of reading... in 2hrs she has the capability to finish 300+ pages). Her reply was... dude until unless you don't jump into swimming pool you cannot taste the chlorine water or the taste of...... so my dear friend similarly you cannot....... i interrupted saying ok...ok... you win.
Now the whole world (if not few percentage of ppls) are writing blogs n blogs every minute..... have heard that there is now mobile blog as well.... oh man where is the world heading to.....
Few days back Wimbledon Men's Single Final match was going on and one my friend was watching it and the moment it got over (not to say who won it)... he wrote a blog in middle of the night..... next day i saw the link next to his name in my IM list. I was amazed to see this..... a blog which is nothing but few 100s or more words displayed in front of you but if you look from the other side of the coin... its your feeling that you have expressed in written words......
All this inspired me to occupy a space in the world of "the blogs"..... and yes i did..... this blog of mine definitely isn't the nth number but soon that n will be ........
Initially during my college days, I use to see friends, lecturers etc ready novels all those fiction, romance, drama etc... turning pages n pages.... like a competition who will finish the book first (hurry hurry.... I did....ah). this reminds me of one of my friend who was crazy for such books, moment she saw any book store or hawker sitting on the footpath with piles of books in front of him.... she will definitely stop by and spend some bugs on buying books... once i told her... how are you able to read through 100s of pages and that too with so quickly (i must say she has amazing speed of reading... in 2hrs she has the capability to finish 300+ pages). Her reply was... dude until unless you don't jump into swimming pool you cannot taste the chlorine water or the taste of...... so my dear friend similarly you cannot....... i interrupted saying ok...ok... you win.
Now the whole world (if not few percentage of ppls) are writing blogs n blogs every minute..... have heard that there is now mobile blog as well.... oh man where is the world heading to.....
Few days back Wimbledon Men's Single Final match was going on and one my friend was watching it and the moment it got over (not to say who won it)... he wrote a blog in middle of the night..... next day i saw the link next to his name in my IM list. I was amazed to see this..... a blog which is nothing but few 100s or more words displayed in front of you but if you look from the other side of the coin... its your feeling that you have expressed in written words......
All this inspired me to occupy a space in the world of "the blogs"..... and yes i did..... this blog of mine definitely isn't the nth number but soon that n will be ........
the dreamz
It all started when I was 5yrs old, had visited a small restaurant near by. As we occupied a table, the waiter and gave us the menu card. My eyes were all rolling up and down as by father was turning pages n pages in the menu, dreaming when will my dad ask me what would like to have.
Soon the magic words were out.... Son Whats your take. I was like hmm... hmm... something good pa (other side of the table my sister was all staring at me what this boy is gonna order today). A sweet voice struck my ears.... i guessed it was from the table next to be ours reminding me of a sweet girl who stays in our neighborhood but unfortunately it was of my mom. After some brainstorming my dad finally placed the order. As usual I couldn't sit one place for much time, started disturbing my sister. She being papa's daughter all the time complaining papa see what this guy (bhaiya) is upto. However I couldn't resist myself my watching people who were there in the restaurant. My eyes were looking for some one with whom I could exchange the unspoken words.
After looking around I found some one about three tables far, moment I started passing my sweet smile there was blackout in front of my eyes and guess what it was none other than the waiter who had brought the dinner we had ordered for. All the dishes were looking yummy... i was looking at each and every dish... immediately my mom told we haven't ordered that what you are looking for... I was like oh mom I want have that only.... I wish you had ordered a chicken curry mom. Waiter served all of us and there was pin drop silence on our table... I looked at my sister passed a smile and she was like who are you... then passed a smile to my dad, he asked are you liking the food. I replied in a low tone Yes Pa.
It was a wonderful time at the restaurant, Dad was about to settled the bill, I asked pa no ice-cream. Mom saw me with a wanky looks and said you what happens to you after you eat ice-cream, i was like please mom. Anyways it wasn't the ice-cream day, we were about to leave and I was again back to square one looking for that girl whom i saw three table across. Unfortunately she had already left without me noticing her (thought of saying cheese).... We all got and marched towards the exit.
I told myself... its a wonderful place to be.... good people to come across, good food, ah not to forget ice-creams..... some day... some day.... careful son there is stone in front of you...."i will.... open my own restaurant."
Soon the magic words were out.... Son Whats your take. I was like hmm... hmm... something good pa (other side of the table my sister was all staring at me what this boy is gonna order today). A sweet voice struck my ears.... i guessed it was from the table next to be ours reminding me of a sweet girl who stays in our neighborhood but unfortunately it was of my mom. After some brainstorming my dad finally placed the order. As usual I couldn't sit one place for much time, started disturbing my sister. She being papa's daughter all the time complaining papa see what this guy (bhaiya) is upto. However I couldn't resist myself my watching people who were there in the restaurant. My eyes were looking for some one with whom I could exchange the unspoken words.
After looking around I found some one about three tables far, moment I started passing my sweet smile there was blackout in front of my eyes and guess what it was none other than the waiter who had brought the dinner we had ordered for. All the dishes were looking yummy... i was looking at each and every dish... immediately my mom told we haven't ordered that what you are looking for... I was like oh mom I want have that only.... I wish you had ordered a chicken curry mom. Waiter served all of us and there was pin drop silence on our table... I looked at my sister passed a smile and she was like who are you... then passed a smile to my dad, he asked are you liking the food. I replied in a low tone Yes Pa.
It was a wonderful time at the restaurant, Dad was about to settled the bill, I asked pa no ice-cream. Mom saw me with a wanky looks and said you what happens to you after you eat ice-cream, i was like please mom. Anyways it wasn't the ice-cream day, we were about to leave and I was again back to square one looking for that girl whom i saw three table across. Unfortunately she had already left without me noticing her (thought of saying cheese).... We all got and marched towards the exit.
I told myself... its a wonderful place to be.... good people to come across, good food, ah not to forget ice-creams..... some day... some day.... careful son there is stone in front of you...."i will.... open my own restaurant."
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